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Weatherman's Union
July 26, 2005 - 2:56 p.m.

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The cooler weather I mentioned in yesterday's post? Gone. It evaporated like mist a couple hours after I posted. Make a liar out of me, will yah?

You must be getting sick of me complaining about the weather...I know I am. It's hard to avoid the subject, though, when a casual two-block walk leaves me sweating so badly that I have to change my shirt. To maintain a reasonable level of comfort, smell and presentable appearance I'd need to carry a supply of shirts and underwear with me just to go buy veggies. This is saying something since on Roncesvalles there's a vegetable stand every three feet.

How I'd change underwear on the street while maintaining a presentable appearance (not to mention personal comfort) I won't bother to explore.

Poor Amy has to go out into this muggy mess every day, sometimes to the Toronto Islands where she spends four hours outside (not to mention the couple hours getting there and back). You'd think an island in one of the Great Lakes would be nice and breezy, but no. It's been one, long, sweaty, grimy, draining summer for my Amy.

The actors in the show she's stage managing have it even worse...they have to run around in hot costumes, four shows in a row, performing one of the worst plays ever written. It's the kind of gig that inspires a certain look on an actor's face. The look is a mingling of exhaustion and determination and it can be summed up in one word..."Equity."

Many times in my pre-union career, such as the time I had to perform scenes from The Fantasticks in a northern-Michigan K-Mart (I'm not kidding), I'd look to my fellow actors and say, "Equity." It was the Promised Land, the Land of Milk and Honey to which we all aspired. Once you achieved it and held your first flimsy, laminated paper union card in your hand...well...it made all the dank dressing rooms, dodgy props and meagre paycheques worth it. Just to know that you'd never again be asked to provide your own costume for a show...

That's not to say that all non-union companies are bad to work for. I know a few non-eq groups that treat their actors better than the union requires. Generally, however, if a company can get you to work more for less, and do it in worse (cheaper to them) conditions, they will. A union at least guarantees a certain pay level, and some working condition standards. And that you won't have to shift scenery between scenes.

I'm holding on to my union status, even though I'm pretty certain that the theatre life is well behind me. Why bother? Well, if you'd told me five years ago that I'd soon be on the road to the priesthood, I'd have laughed in your face. Life can take some odd turns, so it's best to leave your bridges unburnt.

Besides, with a union card I can always say "no" when a friend calls up with some wretched play or improv he's producing. "Sorry. I'd love to but, you know...I'm union."

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