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A car runs a red light or a stop sign, going too fast, and hurtles into me. I can feel my body crumple. Then I'm thrown. It is abrupt, cutting into my peaceful day...just as it cuts into my peaceful night. Every night, and I do mean every night, as I lay in bad waiting for sleep, images like the one above burst in on me. I can be thinking along on any subject, picturing what I need to do tomorrow or remembering something past...wham! The movie in my mind cuts to a car, hitting me. This has been going on for perhaps two years now, though only in the last few months has it been so frequent. It has also taken on a new dimension...I'm no longer the sole victim. Recently the image has become even more disturbing as I stand on the curb watching loved ones being hit. Sometimes it's an anonymous child. And, to make things even more fun, it now happens when I'm just sitting about, reading or watching TV. I don't know if the horror I feel translates to my face, but if so I must present a strange and unsettling picture. Someone told me that this is a pretty clear sign that I'm anxious about something...well, yeah. I'm anxious about a lot of things. Picking one would be a chore. What is the runaway car in my psyche? |
