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Illegal Alien
August 02, 2005 - 2:05 p.m.

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In a panic I realized today that a) I'd overlooked a key step in applying for financial aid and b) the school year is bearing down on us like a runaway train.

When FAFSA says that you can reapply for student aid "with one easy step," they mean "You can start to reapply in one easy step...which will lead to about fifty more extremely complex steps."

So now I'm waiting for a Student Aid Report to be mailed to my mother's house (for whatever reason they won't just mail it to me here) and then I have to send that to the University of Toronto...right here in town. The report that comes in the mail will look exactly like the one I can download and print off the internet, except that it won't say "Borrower's Copy Only" across the top. Ugh. Where's my white-out?

It shouldn't be any trouble getting the financial aid itself, but swinging the study permit before I have to be back studying is another matter. See, they want proof that I can support my bad self while "in country." Toronto has enough homeless college kids, I guess.

This wouldn't be an issue if I was staying here in Toronto until the school year starts again...as an American I can visit Canada for months at a time without problems, and they'd have to notice me anyhow. But I happen to be going to Wisconsin in a couple weeks and will be trying to get back to Canada two days after my current study permit expires.

Sigh.

So here's a prayer for speedy processing and mail delivery. Otherwise I'll have to cross with my passport and tell the border guy, "I'm just visiting my girlfriend...for a few months."

Meanwhile, if everybody I know went and bought a couple thousand books and a few hundred t-shirts, I'd be rich and wouldn't need financial aid.

And then monkeys would fly out of my butt.

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