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Dick Cheney thinks that the U.S. should roll back the clock and give the president the sort of powers that Nixon enjoyed. Oh, crazy Dick Cheney. Only he could think that Nixon would be a good example to win an argument. Yeah, sure. Let's go back to Nixon. Great idea. I believe that I've ranted this rant before, but about a different delivery company. Nevertheless, I must out with it. I have never, not once in 33 years of life, received into my hands a package that had been shipped via UPS. Not once. They've been entrusted with dozens of my packages over the years and not one of them has actually managed to find me. No, I always have to venture out into the hinterland that surrounds cities, beyond even the wasteland of strip malls and big box stores, to find the shipping centre. It's always out in some field, well beyond where normal human activity reaches. There's never a sidewalk to the entrance and the pick-up door is usually marked with a crude sign scrawled on hastily taped-up notebook paper. I swear, UPS is up to something devious; why else would they hide out in these inaccessible compounds, shrouded in secrecy? Are they plotting a worldwide coup? If so, they're ideally placed for it...they have drivers in every city, connected by those high-tech notepads, wearing uniforms and driving mysterious trucks the contents of which we do not know. Surveillance devices? Armed troops? Missile launchers? There could be anything in those trucks. I'm sure there's plenty of space, because my package is certainly not in there! Sigh. Thank you. I needed that. |
